We often unknowingly subject our parents to unjust treatment, failing to realize that they are the ones who have imparted valuable lessons and shaped us into who we are today. As time goes by, we find ourselves becoming the “elders” in their presence, assuming the roles of the “wise” and the “knowing.” It’s as if we’ve transformed into the “guardians” of moral values and discipline, forgetting that these very traits were instilled in us by them.
“Why did you go there, Father?”
“You messed up again, Mother.”
Such words, uttered in haste, tarnish their efforts and devotion. We tend to overlook their sacrifices, unaware of their struggles. Our rash actions shatter their feelings, leaving them helpless in a sea of confusion. We fail to recognize that our display of “authority” and “wisdom” within our own perceived sphere is diminishing the core essence of our parents’ feelings.
It is this feeling that allows us to understand that our parents have once again become children. They are gradually freeing themselves from the countless mental bonds as age advances. These fragile joys, the smallest gestures of love, the faintest smile – these are the things that bring them comfort. To bathe them with our “authority,” to deny them the power of “listening,” the privilege of “speaking,” and even the right to “reprimand” is to rob them of these joys.
They desire to “listen,” they long to “express,” and they wish to “love.” These simple acts fill their lives with happiness. In this small world of ours, we must remember that our parents, with all their colorful experiences, either comprehend or fail to comprehend our grievances. And yet, they do understand that their time is limited. They are gradually confining themselves to their own cocoon, transforming into captives within their own shells.
In the end, they become susceptible to a myriad of physical and mental ailments. This is why it’s imperative that we, their children, embrace a path of compassion and understanding if we truly wish to keep our parents happy. For the sake of their happiness, we should refrain from becoming excessive “wise” guardians and remain as “children.”
It’s a reciprocal exchange; we remain as “children” so that they may remain as “parents.” This way, we protect our own inner “child,” ensuring that our parents can continue to experience the joy of hearing our “childish” complaints – the same complaints they once endured from us. This is the circle of love, care, and understanding that binds generations together.
“How do I divide my time among my family, as my years dwindle away?”
“All my days are now my father’s days, all my days are now my mother’s days.”
As we transition from “guardians” to “children,” let us remember that the days our parents have left are fewer in number. Each day, let us try to understand their perspective and give them the happiness they deserve. In doing so, we not only honor the lessons they’ve taught us but also ensure that the warmth of love continues to flow from generation to generation.